This month I will be bidding farewell to my 20s – as I celebrate my 30th birthday. I’ve been reflecting on how I feel about this, about the number 30, this arbitrary age that seems to represent so much and inspires such a range of emotional responses. As my 30th birthday approaches, I look back and realise how much I have changed in this last decade. If you’ve met me in my early 20s you probably say that Archika is a chirpy and a bubbly girl, someone who speaks without thinking, always up to some pranks, love teasing others. Some people would even call me a freak who can drive anyone crazy!
But today if you ask my colleagues at work they would probably describe me as someone who’s calm, thinks a lot before speaking, reserved and not too social. Quite a contrasting viewpoint. But, I think it’s for the good. Though I try to be the same bubbly girl at home and with my close friends but I am definitely different from how I was a decade back.
It’s funny how back in my teens I used to dislike people who’d change personalities or behaviour with time, I would constantly tell myself that I will never change myself for my peers, family, people I love - I will always be the same. It’s an uncanny feeling when we realise how we all believe that who we are now is pretty much how we will be forever – even though we know that change is an inevitable part of life.
Life is a constant journey and we all change, mature and grow with time. But what changes us the most are our life experiences. Last 10 year were the most eventful years of my life, I started my professional journey, changed cities, jobs, met so many new people, made so many new friends, lost touch with some – some betrayed too. I took up some really challenging tasks, travelled around cities, countries, and got married last year...Phew! – certainly an eventful decade. Although emotionally there were many ups and downs in my journey, but I am grateful for what I’ve learned up to this point and look forward to the lessons that await me, too.
I am sure my life ahead will be equally busy and eventful, but the difference will be that I will be emotionally stronger and much more mature. Life challenges might not affect me as much as it did in my early twenties. Today I am stronger and wiser and more comfortable in my own skin than I was in my early 20s, and I am certainly more confident than I was in my teens.
No matter how many degrees we have or what kind of education we received, there are something that only life can teach us, and here are the lessons I’ve learned in my 20s:
No matter how many degrees we have or what kind of education we received, there are something that only life can teach us, and here are the lessons I’ve learned in my 20s:
The importance of forgiveness – Over the years I have learnt to forgive and move on. It’s not worth spending too much time on things that did not work for us in life or people who let us down.
Surround yourself with positive people - Negative people tend to bring us down and there’s so much energy that is drained, on the other side when we spend time with positive people we feel motivated, happy and light. There’s so much to learn from them.
A holistic view of success – The definition of success is not all about money and being popular, rather success to me is my constant growth, learning new things, understanding people around me, spending more time with family. To achieve a work-life balance is the mantra of success.
It’s not always about me – When I was in my early 20s I used to give so much importance to myself – my birthday, my career, my dress, my room etc. etc., that I became selfish to an extent. However, now I have started to shift my focus and perspectives outside of myself – learning to adapt and become a part of the bigger picture.
Learning to be more mindful of what I say and how I say it – Well I am still learning this, but I am definitely getting better.
Learning to appreciate my health - This is something I never thought about in my early 20s, but as I’m growing older I have started to understand that I am not invincible. I must focus and spend time taking care of my health as nobody else would do that for me.
Life doesn’t always turn out as planned – Finally, I’ve come to terms with this. Though It’s always good to plan but I feel we should never plan so much that when things don’t happen the way we anticipate them, we lose control. Most of the big things in life always turn out to be different from how we visualise them in our early 20s. And mostly it’s for the good. We don’t have the maturity to make big decisions in our early 20s. But we understand this only when we reach 30! (for some it may be 40 though)
